Trump also groused that he wasn’t getting the credit he deserved for the immigration deal and others.
“It’s true. Trump gets no credit. That’s why he had to borrow all his money from the Russians.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Maybe the reason he can’t get credit is because you’ve declared bankruptcy six times.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
Trevor Noah mocked the president for withdrawing threatened tariffs on Mexican imports that were seen as bad for Americans as well.
“Crisis averted! Thank you, Trump. You realize this could have tanked the stock market, it could have seriously hurt the U.S. economy, but Trump stopped it from happening. And, yes, he was the one who caused the crisis to begin with, but that’s not the point. That’s not the point! Give it up for Trump!” — TREVOR NOAH
Iowa’s Influx of Democrats
Nineteen Democratic candidates for president were in Iowa on Sunday, looking to sway voters in a marathon of speeches at the state’s first major event of the 2020 election.
“Little-known fact: A group of Democrats that large is called a Whole Foods.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“It took over three hours. People in Iowa were like, ‘We’ve never been this bored, and we live in Iowa.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“The only thing that’s good about this weekend is for a weekend, it doubled the number of black people in Iowa.” — TREVOR NOAH
Late-night hosts poked fun at Pete Buttigieg’s not-so-inspired jazz keyboard playing (“He’s the hip young candidate in the field, everybody,” Fallon joked), and Tim Ryan’s choosing to walk out on stage to the country rap ditty “Old Town Road.”
“That’s your walk-on song? Are you running for president or trying to go viral on TikTok?” — TREVOR NOAH
The candidate leading in the polls, Joe Biden, did not attend because he was celebrating his granddaughter’s high school graduation.
“But don’t worry — nothing bad ever happens when the Democratic front-runner decides not to go to a swing state.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Punchiest Punchlines (Trump Tariff Talk Edition)
“President Trump called into a show on CNBC to defend his stance on tariffs. He called in, yeah. Then two minutes later he called in again and won two free tickets to see Maroon 5.” — CONAN O’BRIEN
“So the threats of tariffs, the negotiations, the deal itself, were all fake. It was like theater. In this case, ‘The Lyin’ King.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“[Imitating Trump] I’m also proud to announce that the Berlin Wall is coming down, the hostages have been released by Iran, and I have purchased Louisiana from France.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Anyone can be a good guy, anyone can be a bad guy. Not everyone can be both, huh? He’s Bruce Willis and the guy taking the building hostage.” — TREVOR NOAH
The Bits Worth Watching
Lin-Manuel Miranda joined Desus and Mero for a brand-new musical based on the baseball legend Babe Ruth.