Seth Meyers Is Amazed by Michael Avenatti’s Lifestyle
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Michael Avenatti, the lawyer famous for representing Stormy Daniels, has been indicted on 36 charges of fraud, perjury, embezzlement, failure to pay taxes and other financial crimes. The indictment, which was made public Thursday, states that Avenatti stole millions of dollars from five clients and used that money to buy his own private jet and fund a racing team.
Seth Meyers got stuck on that last point.
“How is this the first we’re hearing of Michael Avenatti’s racecar team? That’s the dead giveaway that someone is bad news: The racecar track is where James Bond meets the villain for the first time as he’s pulling off his helmet and his racing gloves.” — SETH MEYERS
“Also, did you not see ‘Goodfellas’? When you rip people off you gotta play it cool with the money. You’re like the guy who buys a Ferrari and asks for the vanity plate, ‘BNK RBBR.’” — SETH MEYERS
The Punchiest Punchlines (Loughlin and Lohan Edition)
“This week on an American Airlines flight to Dallas, the flight attendant accidentally spilled drinks on a passenger, and then she found out that he was the C.E.O. of American Airlines. When the rest of the plane heard, they also dumped their drinks on him.” — JIMMY FALLON
“According to a new poll, former Vice President Joe Biden now has a double-digit lead over Bernie Sanders in the Iowa caucus. It’s the most space Biden has ever given anyone.” — SETH MEYERS
“After facing additional charges stemming from her role in the recent college admissions cheating scandal, actress Lori Loughlin has reportedly reached out to Lindsay Lohan’s former crisis manager for help. Said the crisis manager, ‘Are you sure? I’m not good at this.’” — SETH MEYERS
The Bits Worth Watching
Seth Meyers changed into a cardigan and reminisced on what things were like “back in my day.”
Don Cheadle discussed his “very strong tradition” of drunk golfing.